Wherein Simon Invites Goths and Emos to Beat Him Up
The Nightmare Before Christmas... I have to say...
...I don't get it.
Last night, when I should have been finishing my two essays, I saw the movie in 3D. If you're wondering, one of the essays is now finished, the other one contains a wholly answered question but falls short of the word limit by a few hundred of the little bastards, so I have to wank them in there somehow. So there was guilt involved, while seeing the movie. Quickly replaced by a sense of "huh?"
It's not AWFUL. It's cute. It's got spirit- you can feel the hard work that went in there by all the members of production who wholly believed in what they were doing. I appreciate that they've really gone pretty dark for a film that only just deserves its PG rating. The animation, obviously painstakingly done, is pretty gorgeous, especially when Oogie Boogie's underground lair goes all glowy.
But why is Jack Skellington on t-shirts and backpacks and hats and keyrings and everything else that'll fit a Disney logo on it? Why is it a sign of pride amongst so many of the young folk, asks this twenty one year old? One dickhead from Fallout Boy says "YAY NIGHTMARE!" and BOOM, it happens? I thought the Nightmare phenomenon predated that group's (unexplainable) popularity.
I know picking apart the romance plot of a kid's film is sort of stupid, but hopefully admitting that now will save embarrassment later. It's from 1993, so I'm not going to get all worried about spoilers, plus you know it'll end happy even if it is xCoRe DARK. So, Sally, we're led to believe, is pretty much held prisoner by wheelchair dude all her life, but loves Jack from afar. And then she escapes! And she gives him a flower or something! And then somehow he knows her name later on but just speaks to her like any girl from town... and then later he realises he loves her and they kiss on that curly hill thing. I... the... wha? Could there have been a scene where they... talk? Where wheelchair guy says "Okay, you can be free" maybe, and then Sally says "Hey Jack! I gave you those roses earlier?" There are scenes missing here!
The Corpse Bride, that worked. Not a complicated romance, but one that flowed. Jack and Sally, that didn't flow. At least throw in some conflict, more than just "hey, I didn't really notice you all that much before, but come to think of it, I want to spend the rest of my life with you!"
The Christmas stuff, the misunderstanding about the holiday, that was cute. Not hilarious, not jawdropping, but cute. Cute I can deal with here. The songs, on the whole, pretty unspectacular. This came out at around the same time as Aladdin and The Lion King, and the songs there were on the whole much catchier.
And yes, this was the first time I had seen it, and I should add that I do normally like Burton's stuff. Ed Wood's pretty genius, and the Corpse Bride was fun, and Sleepy Hollow is an old favourite, and so on and so on and so on. I even really enjoy Mars Attacks!
I don't know, I guess the comparison to The Corpse Bride didn't serve the film well. I know that people generally seem to prefer Nightmare, but The Corpse Bride felt, to me, like a classic story being told pretty well. Nightmare was, on the whole, sort of messy.
I'm serious, though, someone explain what I missed. Because I must have missed something.
That wasn't written like a review, but I'm going to give it a score anyway.
6/10
On the 3D size of things, it was... decent. Impressive, considering it's not a film originally designed for 3D, althought I think I would have preferred to see a film that as designed for it, because that could have utilized the medium more.
Seventeen dollars, though.
Seventeen dollars!
Movies are too expensive in this country as it is. As a student I normally pay around eleven bucks. An adult will pay around fourteen. I know our dollar isn't worth that much but we're still paying through the nose. If you want to see a 3D movie, though, and you want to see it with those glasses that break really, really easily, you've got to empty out your wallet something shocking. Seventeen dollars is the adult price, which is what I paid because they don't offer student tickets to 3D movies. Why? Because they're fuckwits.
Apparently only children want to see 3D films, so they get their discounted tickets, and then they have to take their parents with them. Which, you know... the kids aren't paying anyway, why do they deserve a discount? I don't get the time to earn much money because I'm out BEING A STUDENT so give me my damn concession rate! No parent is paying for my tickets! Especially since I'm studying to, hopefully, make the cinematic world a better one. Maybe, maybe maybe, I hope. That's the aim. Right now. If I'm lucky. If God exists, and likes me. (Which, for the record, He probably doesn't, and if He did, He probably wouldn't.)
The point is, though, 3D is a novelty that's not worth paying that much for. It's half a ticket more, pretty much, and I'd rather just be able to see more movies.
Now to finish off, I'm going to depress you, using my good friends at Flixster, a site I keep returning to for reasons I can't for the life of me explain.
Basically what we have here is the Flixster movie quiz, where people can ask their own questions and then you answer and get points. Maybe there will be a picture of Johnny Depp. Next to it is the question "Who is this acter from Pirats of the Caribeen and Pirats of the Carribeen 2?" And then you've got to choose from a list. There used to be questions where you actually had to type in an answer; I guess that got too difficult.
The upshot of these pictures is, more people know the name of Nicholas Cage's fucking car in fucking Gone in 60 Seconds But It Feels More Like 18 Hours than who starred in Some Like It Hot. More than that, a significant number of people believe that Paris Hilton starred in Some Like It Hot.
To quote Sarah Silverman, WHAT THE COCK IS THAT SHIT?
For the record, I guessed the Gone in 60 Seconds answer, that's the only reason it's correct.
Anyway, I'm going to go suicide now, because really, there's no more point, is there?
...I don't get it.
Last night, when I should have been finishing my two essays, I saw the movie in 3D. If you're wondering, one of the essays is now finished, the other one contains a wholly answered question but falls short of the word limit by a few hundred of the little bastards, so I have to wank them in there somehow. So there was guilt involved, while seeing the movie. Quickly replaced by a sense of "huh?"
It's not AWFUL. It's cute. It's got spirit- you can feel the hard work that went in there by all the members of production who wholly believed in what they were doing. I appreciate that they've really gone pretty dark for a film that only just deserves its PG rating. The animation, obviously painstakingly done, is pretty gorgeous, especially when Oogie Boogie's underground lair goes all glowy.
But why is Jack Skellington on t-shirts and backpacks and hats and keyrings and everything else that'll fit a Disney logo on it? Why is it a sign of pride amongst so many of the young folk, asks this twenty one year old? One dickhead from Fallout Boy says "YAY NIGHTMARE!" and BOOM, it happens? I thought the Nightmare phenomenon predated that group's (unexplainable) popularity.
I know picking apart the romance plot of a kid's film is sort of stupid, but hopefully admitting that now will save embarrassment later. It's from 1993, so I'm not going to get all worried about spoilers, plus you know it'll end happy even if it is xCoRe DARK. So, Sally, we're led to believe, is pretty much held prisoner by wheelchair dude all her life, but loves Jack from afar. And then she escapes! And she gives him a flower or something! And then somehow he knows her name later on but just speaks to her like any girl from town... and then later he realises he loves her and they kiss on that curly hill thing. I... the... wha? Could there have been a scene where they... talk? Where wheelchair guy says "Okay, you can be free" maybe, and then Sally says "Hey Jack! I gave you those roses earlier?" There are scenes missing here!
The Corpse Bride, that worked. Not a complicated romance, but one that flowed. Jack and Sally, that didn't flow. At least throw in some conflict, more than just "hey, I didn't really notice you all that much before, but come to think of it, I want to spend the rest of my life with you!"
The Christmas stuff, the misunderstanding about the holiday, that was cute. Not hilarious, not jawdropping, but cute. Cute I can deal with here. The songs, on the whole, pretty unspectacular. This came out at around the same time as Aladdin and The Lion King, and the songs there were on the whole much catchier.
And yes, this was the first time I had seen it, and I should add that I do normally like Burton's stuff. Ed Wood's pretty genius, and the Corpse Bride was fun, and Sleepy Hollow is an old favourite, and so on and so on and so on. I even really enjoy Mars Attacks!
I don't know, I guess the comparison to The Corpse Bride didn't serve the film well. I know that people generally seem to prefer Nightmare, but The Corpse Bride felt, to me, like a classic story being told pretty well. Nightmare was, on the whole, sort of messy.
I'm serious, though, someone explain what I missed. Because I must have missed something.
That wasn't written like a review, but I'm going to give it a score anyway.
6/10
On the 3D size of things, it was... decent. Impressive, considering it's not a film originally designed for 3D, althought I think I would have preferred to see a film that as designed for it, because that could have utilized the medium more.
Seventeen dollars, though.
Seventeen dollars!
Movies are too expensive in this country as it is. As a student I normally pay around eleven bucks. An adult will pay around fourteen. I know our dollar isn't worth that much but we're still paying through the nose. If you want to see a 3D movie, though, and you want to see it with those glasses that break really, really easily, you've got to empty out your wallet something shocking. Seventeen dollars is the adult price, which is what I paid because they don't offer student tickets to 3D movies. Why? Because they're fuckwits.
Apparently only children want to see 3D films, so they get their discounted tickets, and then they have to take their parents with them. Which, you know... the kids aren't paying anyway, why do they deserve a discount? I don't get the time to earn much money because I'm out BEING A STUDENT so give me my damn concession rate! No parent is paying for my tickets! Especially since I'm studying to, hopefully, make the cinematic world a better one. Maybe, maybe maybe, I hope. That's the aim. Right now. If I'm lucky. If God exists, and likes me. (Which, for the record, He probably doesn't, and if He did, He probably wouldn't.)
The point is, though, 3D is a novelty that's not worth paying that much for. It's half a ticket more, pretty much, and I'd rather just be able to see more movies.
Now to finish off, I'm going to depress you, using my good friends at Flixster, a site I keep returning to for reasons I can't for the life of me explain.
Basically what we have here is the Flixster movie quiz, where people can ask their own questions and then you answer and get points. Maybe there will be a picture of Johnny Depp. Next to it is the question "Who is this acter from Pirats of the Caribeen and Pirats of the Carribeen 2?" And then you've got to choose from a list. There used to be questions where you actually had to type in an answer; I guess that got too difficult.
The upshot of these pictures is, more people know the name of Nicholas Cage's fucking car in fucking Gone in 60 Seconds But It Feels More Like 18 Hours than who starred in Some Like It Hot. More than that, a significant number of people believe that Paris Hilton starred in Some Like It Hot.
To quote Sarah Silverman, WHAT THE COCK IS THAT SHIT?
For the record, I guessed the Gone in 60 Seconds answer, that's the only reason it's correct.
Anyway, I'm going to go suicide now, because really, there's no more point, is there?
posted by Simon A at 11:13 PM
1 Comments:
Well, i loved Nightmare back in 1994 when I saw it on good ol' VHS, so I've loved it forever. But I think it's so popular now because all these people are seeing it for the first time and because it is seen as hip and cool... ya know. I can't explain the bags and the clothes and all that.
That's weird.
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