Whoa.

The Departed was, like, crazy amounts of good.

Toronto Round-up At Last!!!!!

Whoa! It arrives less than a month after I got back. It could have been worse. Hey, I've been busy. Don't you judge.

You may have gathered, I kind of dug on the Toronto International Film Festival. And it wasn’t just the thing of seeing nearly thirty movies in ten days (although that was neat) but the whole experience- the city, meeting new people, the atmosphere, the industry involvement- all were fantastic.

I guess mostly it was the movies, though.

Favourite Movie

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

I had an unashamed love of this movie, even if it wasn’t the most high-brow of the festival. It was the third Midnight Madness screening, but the first completely normal one for me- one that, you know, didn’t fuck up the projector (I’m looking at you, BORAT) and was at the regular location- the pretty great Ryerson theatre. BUT MORE ON THAT PLACE LATER.

As a horror fan, Mandy Lane threw me for a loop. It takes an audience familiar with the (usually rather rigid) conventions of a slasher film, and throws their expectations out the window. It’s admittedly not the most terrifying movie, but it’s slick and stylish and goes for the jugular. I likes.

Honourable Mentions

Severance

For Your Consideration

I feel sort of bad having a slasher movie (even though it’s awesome) taking top honours, which is why it says “favourite movie” and not “best movie”. So I’ve got another category, for the film of the highest actual quality. Y’know, so I don’t seem like just a gorehound.

Best Movie

Little Children

The more I think about this one, the more I like it, and want to see it again. This one I missed the start of, so wasn’t quite as engrossed in it as I should have been. In a movie with such a relatively low key plot (the A-story is basically about an adulterous couple) there’s such a huge feeling of dread that builds. It’s a great achievement on behalf of Todd Field- he did similarly well on his last film In The Bedroom. Kate Winslet, too, goes from strength to strength, and should appear in every movie ever, if possible.

Honourable Mentions

Paris Je T’aime

Day Night Day Night

Worst Movie

The Abandoned

And this should say worst movie I got to the end of, because As The Shadow was far worse, but I didn’t get to the end of it. The Abandoned, however, was a failure, if a sort of noble one. I’m glad it’s a horror movie that’s not a Japanese remake, or a PG-13 bloodless slasher flick, later to be released on DVD “unrated”, with a few extra f-bombs thrown in and a drop or two of claret. Co-writer/director did try, I’ll give him that. But then he failed. This was a dreary, dull affair with a dull protagonist who is alone on screen for as much as two thirds of the thing, leading me to want to scream “die, already!” so the damn thing could end. An interesting concept, two, with the two leads encountering zombie doppelgangers, but as a whole it just didn’t work. Maybe if it were a short, rather than a far-too-long.

About an hour into The Abandoned the walkouts really began to pick up, with maybe a fifth of the audience gone before the end, and I think very few staying for the Q&A. You could really feel the apathy of the audience. I felt bad for the movie even as I wasn’t enjoying the thing. It was this odd clash of emotions: “Give it a chance!” with “PLEASE END NOW I’M BORED.” Oh well: they can’t all be winners.

Best Audience

Midnight Madness

That is to say, the Midnight Madness audience when the film is a good one. When the film is a bad one, you feel it, because everyone in the room, everyone, was anticipating something to get the blood pumping, so a movie really falls flat.

When it’s good, though, it’s electric.

It’s the Ryerson theatre, although this is apparently the first year it’s been there. It’s a theatre in a college, so it doesn’t really feel like a cinema, although it still works. It’s also helpful that while it seats 1200 people, it’s difficult to get a bad seat. Even right up the back and right up the front aren’t as bad as cinemas I’ve been in that hold half that many people. Mandy Lane got a standing ovation. Severance director Christopher Smith had his movie Creep screened at Midnight Madness in 2004, so when his name came up in the opening credits, the crowd went off. That happened for nudity and key moments of gore in a few movies too. At the end of Black Sheep, everyone yelled out “baaaa!” in unison.

Although it wasn’t a stupid audience. It wasn’t a Scream 2 opening scene audience. When I saw The Hills Have Eyes at the beginning of the year, there were these four guys at the front who would just shout out “YEAH!!! KILL HIM!!!” and so forth every time something loud of violent happened. It didn’t strike me as something they were necessarily that into, as much as they were just putting a show on for each other, as in, “look how macho I am”. Then they’d probably go home with Metallica blaring out their car stereos while they deny to themselves their sexual feelings for one another. That’s the impression I got. With Midnight Madness, it wasn’t that loud and moronic, and it felt a lot more real. And it turns out to be one of the best possible ways to see a movie.

Best Q&A

For Your Consideration

Pretty much the whole Christopher Guest crew appeared here- Eugene Levy, Parker Posey, Jennifer Coolidge, Jane Lynch, Catherine O’Hara, and the rest, for half an hour- longer than most other sessions- and the only downside was that it couldn’t go for longer. These guys are the kind of funny that makes you jealous, and they play off each other as well as a group of comedians who have been together for a decade for some, a quarter of a century for others.

Here they are:

Kids: if you’re going to anywhere where there will be a lot of Q&A sessions, GET A CAMERA WITH A ZOOM LENS. Here’s the Mandy Lane crew:

Bobcat Goldthwaite, director of Sleeping Dogs Lie. You can't tell, but he's holding up a Degrassi shirt:

Here’s the CN Tower, the largest free standing structure in the world:

…that one actually turned out okay. I got far too many of that damn building, and then forgot my camera for the infamous Borat screening. I deserve to be shot.

The one director photo that did turn out okay was one of Guillarmo Del Toro after Pan’s Labyrinth, a movie I couldn’t enjoy because I was far, far too close to the screen.

Festival lady: giving me the finger, picking her nose, or both?

Get ready for it, but here’s Kate Winslet. Kate with Patrick Wilson (from Angels in America and Hard Candy), Todd Field, and someone else from Little Children. With Kate. Kate Winslet.

Get ready.

It’s pretty spectacular, so I hope you’re sitting.

Get a zoom lens. Really, truly, get a zoom lens.

Although I got some okay (comparitively) shots of Laura Linney, coming out of Jindabyne just before I saw S&MAN.

Work it, Linney!

Best Canadians

Canadians: nice lot! I like them.You can be lining up for as much as two hours for a movie, so a willingness to talk to strangers helps past the time. Helpfully, everyone else in line also has this willingness. Waiting for Mandy Lane, a girl named Anna introduced herself to me by saying “hey, wanna play rock paper scissors?” which is just a great way to introduce yourself to a stranger, it turns out. I talked to a girl from York university and a guy who played Aladdin at Niagara falls, and we bonded over love for The Colbert Report and hatred for King of the Hill. Every time that damn theme song starts to play, you just leap for the remote.

I definitely plan on staying longer if I ever get back there, getting to know some people more, and, you know… getting very drunk with strangers, something that is difficult when you’re on holiday with your dad. (A holiday I am eternally, unspeakably grateful for.)

I also developed a minor obsession with a lady from the “Show Our Volunteers Some Love” ad that played before every film. She clapped way, way too much; extras who overact are pretty hilarious, and if you see the same one do it three, four, five times a day, it’s really difficult to look away.

Even the homeless are friendly! One guy said “What’s the best nation in the world?” “What?” “A DO-nation!” He was only after a quarter; he got a dollar.

The only bad Canadian I really encountered was the dude from the photo place. As well as just giving shitty customer service, he couldn’t spell my last name. After I spelt it for him! He thought I said “i” instead of “r”, and then I corrected him and he changed the “k” to an “r”! He will die, if I ever return to Toronto. His blood will be spilled all over the lower ground floor of the College Park centre.

Biggest Disappointments (Because I missed them)

Babel

The Lives of Others

Babel I wanted to see but couldn’t fit it on the schedule, and figured it would be getting a wide release anyway. The Lives of Others I heard about at the festival, and it sounds fantastic, and is being compared to The Conversation. …not that I’ve seen The Conversation. But I really want to! And Babel I think we’ve all heard the awesomeness of. And despite not really enjoying 21 Grams all that much (why’d they drop that film into a blender? It could have worked chronologically, or at least quite as seemingly randomly out of order! Crazy Mexicans…) Babel really appeals.

Most Surreal Moments

I’ve told the story. The projector breaks down twenty minutes into Borat, and then Michael Moore can’t fix the projector. Michael Moore was trying to fix the projector. And Larry Charles is with him looking like a Rabbi! I don’t understand how that shit wasn’t planned.

Also of note was the world premiere of Black Sheep. It’s a midnight screening, but there’s still a red carpet, because it is an event. As a small Kiwi horror comedy, the cast isn’t all star, nor can the lot of them really be flown to the other side of the world. The director is there, though, with one cast member. Also:

Sheep on the red carpet. Everyone’s seen the shot of Borat with his donkey, but it wasn’t the only crazy opening.

While waiting for Paris Je T’aime, an flying for Darryl’s Hard Liquor and Porn Film Festival got handed to me. The best part was that it was handed out by a woman pushing a stroller that, yes, did contain a baby. Awesome.

Also these two things made me laugh. Nothing to do with the festival, just Toronto being crazy wacky.

That's right, kids. Present your student ID, get ten percent off at a sex shop! You can do this before or after your quickie divorce.

And that’s it. I've just got a couple more shots to finish up with.

The biggest stars, obviously, don’t mingle with the audience after a screening, but for the more independent movies, it does happen. And if you ask, you can get a photo with them!

Black Sheep: actor Oliver Driver and director Jonathan King.

Please try to ignore the thumbs up. I’m not usually that much of a dickhead.

Suburban Mayhem: star Emily Barclay and director Paul Goldman.

Also, those two happened on the same day. I didn't wear the same thing the whole time I was in Canada.

And that’s it. Hope you enjoyed the show, I did. Get to the film festival if you can; get to any film festival near you. You won’t just see films in advance, you’ll meet like minded people, and you’ll swim in love of cinema. Only try to think of it worded in a less wanky way.

I've been neglectful...

Sorry about that. I've just had a week of uni spent mostly doing uni work and being sick. And working on my vampires-and-Hillsong screenplay that I'm working on just so I can say I've written something feature length. And... uh... seeing movies. Whoops. I am nearly done on my Toronto round-up thingo, not that it's that exciting, but I thought I should finish it off. This delay almost makes it seem like it should be something halfway impressive. Don't worry: it's not. Really.

I've just watched the Australian modern-day adaptation of Macbeth and the spiritual sequel to Anchorman, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. Neither satisfied.

Meanwhile, TV is either satisfying me, or getting me very excited. IE:









Hot.

I have trouble with the fact that such good TV and such bad TV can exist within the same universe. And that the makers of bad TV get paid to make more of said bad TV. It's kind of depressing. I just saw an episode of that Mandy Patinkin show Criminal Minds. It's about FBI agents who solve murders. Startlingly original, I know. The most striking thing about it was how heavy-handed the direction was. Music screams "OOOH!!! TENSION!!!". Lingering camera shots drop anvils on the heads of viewers saying "THIS GUY MIGHT BE EEEEVIL".

LOOK! SOME CHILLING DARK IMAGERY!

There was even some superimposition of this shot in a Satanic cult lair of a red mask or some shit, the camera at a dutch angle, it was painful. It felt I'd been transported back to the early nineties, except I was a child then so might have found the whole thing to be minorly scary, which was not the case here. It made me appreciate the Law and Order franchise more, for fuck's sake, because even those shows aren't that tacky. Poor Mandy. I hope they're paying him a whole lot. And not just because he has to work with Greg, from Dharma and Greg, although that on its own must be a huge kick in the teeth.